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Aug. 14th, 2010 @ 01:12 am (no subject)
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Apr. 14th, 2010 @ 09:18 am Who is he?
Current Location: 92507
Current Mood: melancholymelancholy
His name's Bob Johnson. Or Robert Johnson, maybe. I suppose.

How can I hate him? I'm an adult. In my 40's. Rational, thoughtful and understanding. Capable of thoughts BEYOND my own limited self-interest, and introspective enough to know what's right and what's wrong. I also know that by even posting this, I might create create a poisonous thought for her about me. I may just ENGENDER resentment and even hatred. I hope not. I hope she's able to understand that.... yeah...

He might know I exist, I suppose. He might have Googled the last entry and asked a pointed question or two, which means I'm now some kind of interloper.

I used to think his name was Mick. He of the.... no. I won't do that. But Mick was my nemesis. Bob's just this guy, right? Living the good life. Loving a woman WORTH loving. If you were him, wouldn't you? Of course you would. Who wouldn't? She's just...

But I can't help the emotion, right? I can't help but feel that Bob took my spot?

He's liberal. Progressive to be certain. He's capable of doing depraved and loving things. Yeah. Maybe he loves cars. He better love some cats, that's for certain. He does not deserve my hatred.

But there ya go. He has it anyway.

Course, Bob can beat me into a stain if push comes to shove. Bob can buy and sell me four times over. I'm about as purposeful as a caterpillar to Bob. I'm also being deeply, deeply petty and self-pitying, which has got to be REALLY attractive.



Take care of her, huh? Make her as happy as you are able. Cause while I was just this... momentary distraction that got caught in the sunburst magic of her glance, you... you are the one she decided upon for ever and ever. And there are people who would die for that. Hell. Depending on when you find this... maybe someone who DID die for that.

I know that some day Google may drop this in your lap. I dunno when. But I expect it to, nonetheless, sooner or later. And I'm being VERY selfish by doing ANY of this. I'm sorry for that. I should be stronger.

...But you got the most important thing on the planet for me. You got the thing that I think about FIRST when I read the news or feel the earth shake, or see something beautiful and inspirational. And though my hatred means nothing to you... at least let my love tell you what you should do, and guide your plans and your dreams. You have the most precious thing I've ever seen.

...Goddamit. You'd better love her.
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Feb. 23rd, 2010 @ 06:15 am Tam Beseda
Current Location: 92507
Current Mood: drunkdrunk
Current Music: Stone Temple Pilots - Plush
You know...

When you're sitting there in front of the screen, conjuring vision of murder and righteous spectacle in your far-too stimulated ID, one of the discomfiting sensations is the need to have a Second to sneer and and bare teeth and spur you onwards to the heights and depths of depravity.

But you're alone...

And the part that's so jarring is realizing that the Second is there... somewhere. Just not here.

...Someone who could appreciate the beautiful simplicity of a 2 door Mopar.

Or a perfectly encapsulated stab to the aorta of an ill-intentioned idealogue.

And the lowered eyebrows and wicked grin of malice, well-intentioned.

Or the one that taught you why we drink when we're not supposed to.

heh. But really it's the unspoken understanding of how fucking miraculous that Mopar is, in a day of plastinated supercars and hyper-massaged, 4 wheel-drive rice-racers.

Still. The new GT is a better looking design than the original GT-40.

Suck it.

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Jan. 27th, 2010 @ 05:55 am Journey (again) and Arnel Pineda
Current Location: 92507

I rarely use this anymore, as my thoughts have turned SO black as to necessitate turning this into a journal of little but the suicidal musings of a failed life, but I'm here, because I have no other real place to express myself anymore so I'm gonna yell at the universe and Neil Schon for a moment.

Fuck Arnel Pineda

Yes, his range places him squarely in the upper echelons of American Idol winners. I'm not gonna dispute that issue. But here's the thing, my dear Valory, Schon and Cain. He can't fucking speak our language. He clips the syllables like every other Tagalog speaker does.

The guy has VERY impressive range. He's 95% of Steve Perry, no dispute, but that remaining 5% is make or break and the answer is BREAK, you bastards.

FIRSTLY, re-recording the quintessential Journey songs with HIS voice instead of Perry's was a purely Jr. High school move, fuck-you-very-much. You were trying to establish him as THE Journey voice which is a slap in the face of Perry/Journey fans everywhere. WHAT else would be the point in re-recording those tracks? Showing off modern digital tech? Neal got a wonderful new pedal that he just WISHED so desperately that he'd had back in 1978 and now wanted to place on exhibition to the entire world?? No. I'm sorry. NOT buying it.

YOU guys were sending a clear message to Perry that he was no longer needed EXCEPT you vile bastards, you forgot that the tiny tiny Filipino can't SPEAK OUR FUCKING LANGUAGE!!!!!!!

Get him a fucking SPEECH COACH!

He clips the final syllable off his words the way Tagalog speakers tend to do, and he GIVES AWAY THE PLOT that he's only 95% there.

Okay, Jesus. I'm about 40% there. Augeri was like 85% there. It's notable that this twerp is able to reproduce 95% of Perry. Seriously. It is.


Do not try to piss on us! I mean, your career is damn near over, it's true. You were rocking it with Carlos in the goddam stone age, and you frankly don't have another 30 years left in you. It's nearly time to close up shop. I UNDERSTAND! But I posted an open letter to all of you once begging you to bury the hatchet once and for all for ALTRUISTIC purposes AND the joy of raping my wallet and your response was a giant middle finger to Perry by dong that bullshit re-recording thing.

Fuck You.

A Lot.

You address those fans who think Arnel is "sufficient" and ya know, Jesus, he's good. But there's a difference, and ANYONE can tell. YOU CAN TELL. The fans can CERTAINLY tell. So what was the purpose other than burning bridges??

You know, your music means SO very, very much to people. It REALLY does. I mean authentically. It means more to me than most members of my family. It FORMED me. It's crucial. And... you're human, and given to making mistakes. This was a big one. (okay this has turned into a letter just to Neil Schon, I give up.) So here's the fan's prostration:

BEG Steve Perry to come back for one last tour. You guys are... Hell, I don't have the words. You're more important than the music should be, frankly. Just for the sake of all that is righteous and good in the world, stand on stage on last time, play the songs, capture it on DVD, wave to the crowd, smile like there's nothing more important in the world than this and make it FUCKING happen. You stand holding the most precious gift a musician has EVER held: the wishes and dreams of your fans.

When you were 16 years old holding that guitar and dreaming of what you could create with it, you couldn't have dreamed bigger than this. So do what it takes, make the dream real one. last. time.

We. Your fans. Have earned it.
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Apr. 6th, 2009 @ 06:52 am Patches
Current Location: 92507
Current Mood: sadsad
Tags: ,
A year ago when we moved in here, a little stray with the ears of a scottish fold and a sweet, patient temperment began coming by to be fed. He had a lung or sinus condition that caused him to wheeze all the time, and he was dirty and spotted so I called him Patches, due to his rugged and careworn appearance.

After a while, Patches just sort of moved in along with one or two other local kitties who liked us enough to get close. Since he was almost always indoors now, he cleaned himself up and the regular feedings, clean water and comfortable environment eased up much of his lung problem. His breathing, while still louder than the other cats, was much better. We was at ease.

From time to time in the last few months he'd sneak out and be gone a night or even two, coming back looking like the Patches of old. Spots of soil or whatnot in places on his coat. He'd spend a few days cleaning and be good as new. The winter saw him spending less time escaping and more time indoors, but with the warmer weather he snuck back outside a few more times.

Two weeks ago he got out for a couple of days and when he came back he was noticeably less energetic. He laid around a lot, and in the last few days, I noticed his walk was slow and his legs shaky. He moved very little.

Yesterday afternoon while I slept, he crept past the couch to the table where he liked to hide and sleep, and laying down half under the table and half on the carpet, he left us. It had only been just a couple of weeks since he'd been in my bedroom, standing on a box, craning his head out the window and calling to be let out. He was gone so quickly.

We don't know how old he was or where he lived his life prior to joining our house last year. He was a small, kind vagabond who joined us for the last year of his life. His sweet face and patient friendship will be little kitty paw shaped holes in my heart.

We love you, sweet boy.

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Marc Anthony!
Dec. 3rd, 2008 @ 03:09 am Letter to Troy Duffy, director of Boondock Saints
Current Location: 92507
Current Mood: laconic
So, there is a sequel being made of the 'cult" film, 'Boondock Saints'.

I was shown the DVD last night and was incredulous. It is easily one of the top 5 worst films I've ever seen. (I don't watch bad films for lols so I'm certain it's better than anything done by Ed Woods, Roland Emmerlich and Jerry Bruckheimer, but in MY experience, it's awesomely unwatchable!)

And since it's Hollywood, and the devil is in charge, bad things will happen and with that in mind, a sequel is being made. As part of the sequelization, the Director/screenwriter, Troy Duffy is keeping a YouTube diary of production for the 700 drunk and stoned townies who will kill their grandmothers to get the 10 bucks together to catch this thing on the big screen.

Since he has made himself accessible, I sent him an e-mail which I will now ctrl-V below.

Hey Troy.

So after hearing endlessly from all my Irish friends regarding the first film, I was finally given an opportunity to watch the DVD last night.

Respectfully, I have to say that I was torn between wondering if it was doing a "Scary Movie/Leslie Nielsen" take on edgy shoot-em-ups, or if it was serious. After seeing the second and third acts go by without much actual comedy save the Dafoe re-enactment at the "armageddon shoot-out", I gathered that it was serious.

With that in mind, I can safely say that Boondock is one of the worst films I've ever seen. It is deeply derivative of previous films and stunningly deficient in anything resembling character development or an appreciable story (And I know from the reviews I've read tonight you're likely sick to the gills of hearing that critique, but I really agree with that statement.) I know to say that to the screenwriter/director is inviting enmity, but I am being honest, and I would hope you'll take it as such.

So the question is: Is the new movie being made to appease the fanbase or can you foresee anything being done in the sequel that a person who regretted seeing the first film might find appreciable in the second?

Response?? I'll update you.

Oh, and if I haven't made it crystal-fucking clear... if you value your mind, stay the HELL away from the first one. ZOMG!
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Nov. 18th, 2008 @ 04:54 pm Motivating yo azz!

Well, we kinda do...
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Nov. 4th, 2008 @ 01:14 am The inequity of a loving God.
Current Location: 92507
Current Mood: distresseddistressed
Current Music: Daily Show Commercials

Dear Universe, How come Bernie Mac is dead and Dick Cheney is still alive??

Too Presumptive.
My Dearest Omnipotent power,
Though I am loathe to send so much as a memo of question regarding the rationale vis-a-vis who lives and dies on this unforgiving and barren boulder upon which you have seen place to drop us, nonetheless, I have some concerns regarding the fairness and and beneficence of a higher power that would allow Bernie Mac to expire but would overlook the obvious necessity of calling home the Vice...

Dear God.


Watchmaker, Sir.
How the fuck do you justify abandoning your creation at pivotal points in its history? I mean, seriously!!! Bernie Mac?? DICK CHENEY? JERRY BRUCKHEIMER? GEORGE DUBYA FUCKING COCKSUCKING BUSH?? SARAH HOWTHEFUCKDOYOUJUSTIFYTHISCUNT PALIN!??!?!?!??? WTF, HOLMES!!!!!!???


THERE IS NO GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Oct. 16th, 2008 @ 01:29 am An open letter to Steve Perry and Journey.
Current Location: 92507
Current Mood: embarrassedembarrassed
Current Music: Journey - Open Arms
Our lives are short.

I will be 40 years of age next year. My life, for all intents and purposes will be half over, give or take some unfortunate medical circumstances, an earthquake or two and the disintegration of the American economy.

I look behind me at the youth I no longer possess and to the future of a life being the Elder Generation, with all its disappointment, missed opportunities and silent regrets. What deceits and traps lay before me? What triumphs and defeats lurk in the agenda of each new day? Only Destiny knows and his book is closed to me.

Behind me is a youth and vitality I still feel like the proximity of a lover or the phantom of a squandered opportunity.

Enmeshed irrevocably amongst those memories of a rose-tinted, yearbook youth and the bygone dreams of yesterwhen is the music that formed the dreamer, the lover and the warrior inside of me. Many such artists, bands and songwriters contributed to the person I am today, for better or worse. But as a child of Ronald Reagan's ephemeral 80's, very few can claim so evocative and tighter-than-iron hold on me than the music of one of the greatest musical phenomenons in Rock and Roll History: Journey.

Journey has had, a surprising number of front men. But even the current singer, a gentleman possessed of prodigious and evocative mimicry of previous vocalists can hold but the most feeble of light against the glorious and soul-warming flame that was a Journey led by Steve Perry.

As I said before, I am nearing my 40th year on this unfortunate and ill-conceived experiment in human evolutionary dynamism, and in but a twinkling I will be too aged to be considered of any value to the culture-at-large. Despite this impending obsolescence, the heights of Journey's musical genius occurred during a time when I was -too young- to even attend a concert by myself, let alone afford the admission.

In short, I missed my opportunity to witness with mine own two eyes, the music that shaped and informed the romantic and unfathomable soul within me.

I want that chance.

Dear Sirs. Whatever it is that lays between you; whatever ill-will, jealousies, injured egos, slighted feelings and bruised allegiances remain, stand between me and what would be a defining moment in my life.

And I ... am not alone.

I stand before you right now, a man entering middle age, with very little money, with probably even less dignity and with all the miserable, careworn and shattered expectations of a life to be, rather than a life that could-have-been and I say to you, Please. Please.

For the flame it kindled in all of us. For the spirit you shaped, for the love you gave and received, set aside for at least a while the problems and grievances you hold and stand as one on the stage together one last time.

Give me the chance to hear and see this band... MY BAND perform the songs that formed the dreamer and the believer in me. Burn one final indelible arc across the cold night sky while there's still time. We will not be here forever and these things must be done before it's too late.

Do not keep this from me. It just means too much.

...It just means too much.

Dana Broe
-Riverside, Ca.
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Jul. 4th, 2008 @ 09:09 am F1 Drivers
Current Location: 92507
Current Mood: touchedRespectful
5. Stirling Moss
4. Ayrton Senna
3. Michael Schumacher
2. Tazio Nuvolari
1. Juan Manuel Fangio

Most have no idea. A few understand.
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